Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Fabulous Foreplay: What Women Wish Men Knew about Foreplay

I am so excited to have author Cynthia Gentry on Better Sex Radio this Wednesday at 11 a.m. Pacific. Cynthia is the author of "What Women Really Want In Bed" and I am very excited to interview her about her book. I just LOVED her chapter on foreplay and am going to "steal" a few excerpts from her book for you here to give you a little taste of what we will be talking about on Better Sex Radio. (Tune in at 11 a.m. at

"If you love sending your woman into a state of crazy desire before you do the deed" then this book is for you. Sure, everyone loves a quick ONCE IN AWHILE. There is a place and a time for a quickie. And I love this quote from her book, too. "Every interaction is foreplay" and that quote is credited to someone named Chole.

Foreplay for women is NOT optional. Remember, for women, it's often going to take our brain about 10 - 15 minutes to get in the moment. We just don't CLICK OVER like men seem to be able to. We are not quite as visually stimulated as men are. Just seeing a penis or his nipples does not instantly get us going like flashing a nipple or showing a little butt cleavage can do for a man.

I love this quote from Cynthia's book: " You gotta warm up the pan before you put the meat in." "Sure, you could slap your sausage in a cold skillet, but the cooking process is going to take a lot longer." And, if we don't get our foreplay, then to women it feels like the act is really just more for the male partner. Foreplay and sex are not separate to us. It's a part of the whole process. And, most women do not ORGASM without the foreplay.

I always like to coach men that if they want to see a VERY dirty, naughty lover in their bed... warm her up with some forepaly. Men always say they want "vacation" sex or they want their wife to act like they do when they are on vacation. My guess is that on vacation, there is some mood setting and lots of foreplay. You can't get a wild porn star in your bed unless you INVEST the time and energy into the "before" play.

Foreplay cannot be rushed? And, what in the heck is the hurry? It's like traveling with men. They are always in such a hurry to get to the final destination instead of pulling over to see all of the historical landmarks, fruit stands and the special vista spots. SLOW DOWN. It's about the journey. Stop to see the views and enjoy all of the landmarks!

Most women, when asked, say they would like 20 minutes of foreplay. 10 minutes is the very minimum. So, as Cynthia's books says - "Dont Rush The Foreplay." "Foreplay is as vital to women as control of the televistion remote is for guys." When Cynthia and her team interviewed women about foreplay they said over and over again "Longer is better", "slow down, take your time", "it's impossible to spend too much time on foreplay" and on and on.

Set the mood, slow down, enjoy the seduction, light a candle, give compliments, make her feel safe and turned on enough to be that PORN STAR you want in your bed. "We want the romance, but we also want some raunchy sex" according to "Heather, 25, Executive Assistant.

I am very excited to talk with Cynthia tomorrow. I hope you will tune in!

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