Can you be FAT & SEXY? Hell YES! Confidence is SEXY at any size.
A friend of mine (who is NOT fat) wrote this fabulous blog that "Sexy Comes in All Sizes"
http://aspirelifecoaching.org/blog/2009/05/sexy-comes-in-all-sizes/Susan is an amazing woman, life coach and all around inspirational woman. Her blog reminded me of when I owned an Adult Store where we sold lingerie. I noticed two things when I would help women try on lingerie.
First of all, thin women are SO HARD on themselves and have so much negative SELF TALK around their bodies. Being a PLUS SIZED woman myself, I always thought it was so strange that they were so hard on themselves when they had obviously hit that "media goal" of being a size 6.When larger women would come into our store, they were way more "in reality" about where they were and how they looked and were focused on finding a style of lingerie that flattered their bodies.
They had this attitude of "oh well, I want to surprise my lover and I am a size 18" and were just more matter of fact about it while we searched for the perfect piece of lingerie for their ample bosom or ample bottom - or both.It also reminded me how very petite women and very thin women sometimes have as much or more difficulty finding cute clothes or lingerie as their plus sized or tall sisters have. It's the same PROBLEM just different ends of the spectrum.She also reminded me how strongly I feel about this issue. My business is all about helping women and couples to have
BETTER SEX.
I do that via my Online Romance Store
http://www.BlissConnection.com/ and our
Home Pleasure Parties www.BlissPartiesInc.com . We also have a radio show called "Everyone Wants to Have Better Sex" at
www.WSRadio.com/BetterSexRadio .I am sharing my reply to
Susan Liddy's Blog about "Sexy Comes in All Size"Thanks for creating a dialogue about this, Susan. I talk to so many women week after week who are putting their sex lives and other fun stuff on hold until they are that perfect size. LADIES - Sieze The Day!
All you have is today. You may not be on this planet tomorrow. Enjoy exactly what you have and exactly who you are NOW. You should not put the really really fun stuff on hold until you lose those last 10 lbs...you could be working on those last 10 lbs the rest of your life. WHY WAIT?
And, guess what? Some men PREFER saggy breasts, big butts, or a little pooch around the tummy. Granted, some men are into toned and sculpted - but my point is that if there are equal amount of men that love BIG HUGE breasts as there are men who love ITTY BITTY breasts, that that would hold true on body size preferences, too. (If you don't believe me, google all of the pay sites out there dedicated to ENORMOUS BREASTS and the pay sites dedicated to the ITTY BITTY TITTY COMMITTEE. There are thousands and thousands of both kinds.)
Confidence is what REALLY turns people on and just OWN IT ladies. Own who you are right now and enjoy life and all the pleasures that your body can bring - size 2 or size 22!
Can you tell I feel strongly about this issue? I am a size 22 and I am here to ENJOY who I am now at this very moment - not who the media tells me I should be. Of course, this has been a life long battle for me as I have been overweight since about the 4th grade. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the way the magazines depict women and celebrities, but then I remind myself I AM SEXY and I deserve to love and be loved just like anyone else!I believe all women (all people) are sexy in their own way and we just need to realize all of our beauty and potential.
When we do that, then we will all HAVE BETTER SEX! Let go of your body image hangups and just let yourself enjoy every thing you can - even if you are SUPER SKINNY or SUPER FAT. Like I said above, Sieze the Day ladies!
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
Blissfully, ChrystalChief Toy Officer & Pleasure Coach
http://www.blissconnection.com/Tel: 866-200-9475Email:
Chrystal@BlissPartiesInc.comTune in to our Award Winning Radio Show at
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Comment (8) BlogPosted by
newageknight Fri May 22, 2009 1:49pm PDT
I'm glad that women are starting to realize that they don't need to be super skinny because frankly it's getting annoying. I knew a girl in high school who was absolutely gorgeous inside and out but she felt she needed to lose weight. The girl was just under 6 feet tall and couldn't have weighed more than like 120-130 pounds. It was a little saddening.
If the woman likes herself, guys will notice and it'll be really hard for her to keep guys away (I've got another friend who's in that situation).
Report AbusePosted by
farra Fri May 22, 2009 2:18pm PDT
everyone can be sexy you just have to take care of yourself and be healthy
Report AbusePosted by
Chrystal B Fri May 22, 2009 2:30pm PDT
I agree. Take good care of yourself, pay attention to your hygiene and what you wear - walk when the sun is shining and smile. LOVE yourself like the other comment says..... when you love yourself then someone can actully love you back.
Report AbusePosted by
marimaya Fri May 22, 2009 2:35pm PDT
I am sooooo happy to read this post. As a wedding & lifestyle photographer (www.marianamaya.com) I capture many sized women. 99.5% of the time when they see their pictures they comment on how happy, sexy & in love they look. Every now and then I do get a comment of "ugh I'm fat" to which I ask .."what does your boyfriend/husband/kids/ family/ friends think of your pictures?" and I watch as a big smile speads across their face as they reply "Oh they love them"
Regardless of your size you should always try to be happy with who you are, and realize you are loved for the person you are and not your looks. After all looks fade.
Mariana Maya
Report AbusePosted by
Chrystal B Fri May 22, 2009 9:02pm PDT
Mariana, thanks so much for the post. You are fabulous and super talented .... be sure to check out Mariana's portfolit at http://www.MariyanaMaya.com
Report AbusePosted by
88Gypsy Sat May 23, 2009 10:07am PDT
You are so right on with this post!
In retrospect, I spent my 20’s beating up on myself for not looking ‘right’(I was a size 8) In my 30’s I became unhealthily obsessed with looking ‘perfect’ - enter the eating disorder - and down to a size 4.
Now I’m 40-ish, beat the eating disorder and looking back, thinking: God how I WISH I could have the body now that I had then. You know, back then when I was complaining about it.
Now back to a size 8 - and things aren’t quite as firm as they used to be and you know what? That’s just fine. My legs propel me through marathons, and are in training to bounce a grandchild on them. They’re good legs. My breast nourished children. They’re good breasts. My belly carried those kids and hid their crying faces against it to sheild them from the world for a moment. It’s a good belly. My round behind proudly proclaims my middle-eastern heritage (and thank you Kim Kardashian for making that ‘vogue) It’s a good butt.
I am not model thin. But I am strong, healthy and energetic. And what’s sexier than that?
Peace,
Gypsy
Report AbusePosted by
Chrystal B Sat May 23, 2009 12:14pm PDT
88Gypsy - what a fabulous post. Strong, healthy, energetic and CONFIDENT. That is sexy. Get down with your bad ass round middle easter booty. I am sure you are extremely sexy and fab! :)
Report AbusePosted by
Life Coach Susan 2 hours 1 minute ago
Hi Chrystal!
I'm so excited that I inspired your blog post.
The more women we get on the "bandwagon"
the better it is for everyone.
Our media plays a HUGE role in our body image
"distortions". Seize the day! YES! And, take back
your right to love your body AS IS!
Woot!
-Susan